END OF YEAR MESSAGE TO FANS OF ENGLISH CAMEROON ENTERTAINMENT

My people of the same struggle, accept warm greetings from your highly controversial writer and social activist. It has been a highly tumultuous year for the English Cameroon Entertainment Industry, one punctuated with bits and pieces of intellectual brilliance in various forms. It is the end of another year, but hopefully not the end of the entertainment vision.

To recap the highlights of the year would not play justice to the cause, but it would be of utmost necessity if praise and rejection were handed down to all those who deserved it. Allow me begin with the chaotic individuals, through whom their actions have set us back hundreds of years, by their refusal to become professionals. 

When I see the level of incompetence dwelling in their very amateuristic tendencies, I cannot help but pray that they see the light of day as the New Year unveils itself. As a comedian, I have been amazed and appalled by the two-ended nature of quality comedy in Anglophone Cameroon. Everyone wants to do everything, and anyone wants to do anything. This makes me puke with vile disdain for their utter disregard for professionalism.

However, some entertainers have made me realise there is hope, that there is a speck of optimism that hovers over the dark cloud that rains hundreds of amateurs on the entertainment horizon. They have managed to brave through the regular myths of the disbelief in hard work and have let the world know that something good can emanate from Anglophone Cameroon. I mention names like Freddash Model Agency, Jovi LeMonstre, Gold Age Productions, Mumak, February 16^th, Red Eye Entertainment, just to name but these. 

It is my prayer and hope that as the New Year unfolds, we will have more professional entertainers who will let their work of arts trickle down the very masses who ought to be involved in the very activities they promote, and that they would let the rest of Africa know we can achieve what we have always longed for. That would be the very epitome of quality entertainment in English Cameroon. Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year to all.

THE MBOA AWARDS 2012: THE ENGLISH CAMEROON ENTERTAINER’S NIGHTMARE

Before I begin, I just want to say one thing: I’M BACK!!! It’s been a while, and your writer decided to pause, sit back and take a look at the entertainment atmosphere and ponder on the reminiscent issues in English Cameroon Entertainment. To my delight, some people are actually changing, but when one looks at issues like the recent MBOA AWARDS 2012, I shiver with fright. I fear for the future of English Entertainment in Cameroon.

Allow me define the MBOA AWARDS from a linguistic perceptive. This is just an award ritual created by the French Entertainers, for the French Entertainers, and dominated by the French Entertainers. Period. Now, just because they are hosting it on our region doesn’t mean they are going to give us anything. They just nominated the English entertainers for appeasement sake, but at the end of the day, we all knew it was a rip-off.

Now, permit me recount how it all transpired. The public were told that transportation would be provided for those who had to attend the show by noon. Some people left their homes as early as 9:00am. Flash forward to 6:00pm. Everyone was still huddled up at M1 Studios, no bus in sight. Who was in charge of the arrangement? The one and only Galaxy. Haven’t we had enough of this guy?

Those who left Yaoundé were stranded in Douala waiting for a ghost bus, one that never arrived. Now, at 6:00pm, some people were left with no option but to pay their transport to the venue, Semme Beach Hotel, Limbe. Worse still, performing artists from Buea also paid their own fare to the show ground. And when everyone arrived the gate, they were expected to pay an entrance fee of 1.500 FCFA, much to the dismay of the general public.

Now to the award show proper. Can anyone tell me who’s better than Jovi? I don’t think so. But he never got any award. Even the great music video director, February 16^th was snubbed by his French counterparts on his work with Jovi. This was a large scale and blatant discrimination by the French. It was never my intention to attend the show, because I had envisioned its future. I also need to point out that the hall was packed full...with ‘celebrities’...from Buea.

While I blame the French entertainers, (headed by Tony Nobody) for duping us, I also blame some of our fame-thirsty English Cameroon artists for being so gullible and naive, thus allowing them to be scammed. This is a sign that we need to concentrate on making a solid foundation for Anglophone entertainment and stop relying on our brotherly enemies. As long as we keep following them around, we will always be what they want us to be: FOLLOWERS.

FUNNY HANSEL QUOTES 6

                                                         

1-    Loving you is all I ever dreamed of. Now, can I please wake up?

2-    Men are like monkeys. They like to talk. Women are like super monkeys.

3-    Let sleeping dogs lie. That was our security dog’s motto.

4-    Friendship is earned, not bought. That’s why I never buy my friends anything nice.

5-    Love makes you laugh and keeps you happy all the time. So does alcohol

FORGED CELEBRITY SYNDROME (FCS) KILLS ENGLISH CAMEROON ENTERTAINMENT

The English Cameroon Entertainment Industry, as some call it, has been plagued with a number of fatal diseases, but the “Forged Celebrity Syndrome” of FCS, has succeeded in infesting the entertainment milieu. Before I begin, allow me define a celebrity:

According to Wikipedia, a celebrity is a person who has a prominent profile and commands a great degree of public fascination and influence in day-to-day media … and is easily recognized by the general public.

Now, permit me break this down into 3 main parts:

1-      Prominent profile (CV or resumé)

2-      Influence  (Ability to change a situation)

3-      Recognition (Public figure)

I will not deny the fact that some entertainers have gone a long way to provide constructive and quality entertainment for the English Cameroon public, but some few ‘entertainer’ have managed to get themselves known for doing absolutely NOTHING. The status of a celebrity should be earned, not forged. Sadly, we get people who become famous just by attending shows, just by auditioning or just from mingling with quality entertainers.

PART 1- PROMINENT PROFILE (CV OR RESUMÉ)

Part of being a celebrity is having a highly regarded CV. This comes as a result of engaging yourself in quality productions, co operations and other worthy events that become credible and positions you as a great performer. Today in Cameroon, we find ‘movie stars’ who have had no major role in a production. As long as they were used as an extra (barmaid, housemaid, security officer), they have now become stars.

PART 2- INFLUENCE (ABILITY TO CHANGE A SITUATION)

Another imperative component of being a celebrity is to have the capacity to change situations. Celebrities from other countries have the aptitude to change situations in areas like Health, Education, Communication, Politics and Economics. In Cameroon, we have the ability to affect only our lives. What a big difference. What a change.

PART 3- RECOGNITION (PUBLIC FIGURE)

This is of great importance to the life of the celebrity. As long as the general public recognizes you as an entertainer, you will be able to go on doing greater things. Sadly, most Cameroon ‘entertainers’ are greatly known…only by their families. The saddest part of it all is that they are contented with the situation.

All I am trying to say here is that the Cameroon Entertainment Industry needs people who do, not talk. Some of you, and I mean some of you, will say that I am just seeking to be known. But I know the visionaries will say I am passionate about Cameroon Entertainment, that I hold it in high esteem. If you want to be a celebrity, the entertainment business is not for you. If you want to provide quality entertainment for all, then the passion is in you. You will be a celebrity…from your good works.