Monday, May 14, 2012

THE ENTERTAINER’S RULE BOOK by Ngwane Hansel


                                          

Every entertainer’s dream is to be recognized for his/her efforts. In other developed countries, those recognitions are so visible that they act as fuel, pumping in vibrant energy into the world of entertainment. However, Cameroonian artists and entertainers have had a difficult time getting appraisals from the general population. Those who get the praise will realize that it often comes from friends or people who want to take advantage of them in one way or the other.

What if I said Cameroonian entertainers were responsible for this occurrence? What if I told you that YOU, as an entertainer, have been killing yourself? This article will provide a rule for performers (musicians, comedians and dancers, mostly). This rule will be a guide to all Cameroonian performers and will go a long way to enhance the way we entertainers are seen in Cameroon.

RULE No 1: Never perform at a non-entertainment event. This applies mostly to dancers and comedians. Trust me, if we want to be the level of entertainers we always dream of, then we must stop performing like beggars, waiting for a scrappy 5 minutes to ‘perform’ in front of people who have gathered for a completely different agenda than yours.

Take for example; a comedy event might be conducive for street dancing or a good musical performance. A musical event will no doubt usher in some good street dancing and a street dancing event could be favorable for a musical interlude. Now, where does a street dance performance fit into a wedding program or at a book launch? How does one perform a stand up comedy routine at a business marketing seminar? For comedians, the only way one could do a standup in these non-entertainment avenues is when you are the MC of the occasion. 

RULE No 2: Never perform if there is no good quality sound system. This goes particularly to comedians and musicians. If the microphone always goes dead in the middle of your performance, you will be left embarrassed and this might ruin your career. Comedians who perform where the sound system is inaudible or the speakers are wacky might tend to shout, paying attention to the sound problem rather to their performance, and will therefore do a miserable job.

Also, their message will not be transmitted as the audience will be left trying to make out and guess what the comics are trying to say all night. A good musician relies on his vocals, and this is enhanced by the type of microphone available at the event. If you get to the area and find out that the mike or the speakers are not functioning properly, simply decline to perform. The organizers might think you are crazy, but the professionals amongst them will always respect and admire you. 

RULE No 3: Never perform where there is no stage. This is one of the most controversial rules I came up with. A stage is a raised platform which gives a clear view of the performers at an event. Never before have I seen other entertainers from other countries perform in avenues without a raised platform. Never. Why should we continue to do the opposite?

The platform or stage gives a different feeling to the performers, as they become the center of attention. It is more or less a psychological phenomenon, one which places the entertainer above the regular crowd, and spills that mental satisfaction of being different from the rest. Now, how do you want the crowd to see you as different when you are all on one level? The stage was designed for the purpose of focus and class distinction and should keep serving that purpose.

RULE No 4: Never perform where there is food. This goes to ALL performers and entertainers. Drinks are different, but food, NEVER. Areas of such interest include weddings, film launches and birthdays. Except you are a very popular entertainer, do not try this…even at home. Let’s paint this picture: The audience has arrived at an event where food will be served. There have been long speeches, long toasts and boring interactions. They are hungry and waiting for the popular “Item 11”. Just when they think it’s finally time to eat, the MC calls for Hansel to perform some comedy… WHAT!!!???!!. 

A hungry man is an angry man, and there is no way you can make him laugh…for the miserable 5 minutes you have been given to perform. All you will succeed in doing is making him angrier by the minute. There will be no laughs, you will be left wondering what to do…you will mess up, and will almost give up comedy. How do I know? It has happened to me. The truth was, I was hungry too and mad at myself for wasting time before the “Item 11” part.

RULE No 5: Learn how to become a professional performer and entertainer. Do some research. Read. Experiments are for the laboratory. Do not try that on stage. Have a unique routine, an identity that will suit your personality and style. Do not copy. Never. That will only kill you imagination. This applies especially to comedians. DO NOT REPEAT JOKES!!! Especially jokes made by other renowned comedians.

Conclusively, I might not be the best entertainer in the world, but I see the best possible future for professional entertainers in Cameroon. We must overcome the urge to remain amateurs and step up on our acts. We as entertainers must first put ourselves in our places before the population will give us that respect we deserve. If you say you are a well renowned performer, people will know. Just stop talking. Do something, but not just anything. Something that will make you a legend…for all the right reasons.

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